Sehingga sama

aku manusia ….

Ku tutup mataku sekejap dan ku buka setengah sambil tertunduk. Berat mengangkat kepala berat mengangkat mata semua terasa tertunduk, terunduk sebuah kebingungan yang menimpa 16 tahunku. Malam lewat jam 12 hari ke dua 16 tahunku, aku bangun dari ranjang mimpi. Aku pergi ke dapur mencari sisa kue ulang tahun, duduk di kursi dekat perapian memandangi tetesan air hujan yang seolah memaksa masuk dari luar kaca jendela.

Seseorang mengetuk pintu, aku ketakutan sendiri. Kubukakan pintu, dan kulihat sosok berperawakan sedang diterangi cahaya lampu pijar teras tempat aku tinggal. Dia masuk, bicara lalu pergi. Entah apa yang ia maksud aku hanya termenung. Memerangi segala pikiran sampai aku ketiduran di dapur diatas meja makan, hingga pagi menyinari.

Ingin rasanya kamarku beres karena tak yakin aku beres.

Beberapa waktu setelah itu, dia yang mendatangiku masih sering mengetuk pikiran dan jiwaku. Aku coba untuk mengingat perkataan singkatnya itu, tapi tak satu katapun yang ku kenal padahal ku hapal betul gerak bibir di kesunyian ruang tamu malam itu. Aku bisa jelas melihat mata penuh keyakinan dan tepukan tangan dalam bayangan. Tak ada kenangan terang yang tersisa yang membuatku dapat tertawa, mungkin karena lampu yang tak menyala.

Hanya satu kalimat yang ku ingat jelas yang ia ucap di teras,

“menunggu, semua sanggup menunggu begitupun aku dan kamu.”

Aku memikirkannya setiap malam, setiap melewati detak jantung orang. Apakah benar yang kupikirkan? Kulupakan pikiran yang menggangu dan ku hanya menunggu.

Sementara ku menunggu aku mencari arti kebenaran atas kenyataan yang menimpa hidupku. Sebelumnya kupikir ini hanya kesalahan hidup yang akan hilang seiring berjalan kedewasaanku. Tapi sekarang aku yakin aku akan menang, kudapat keyakinan dari senyuman semalam. Senyuman semalam yang membutakan aturan, yang menghinakan picik mata orang dan kemenangan adalah hak atas orang yang percaya kebenaran.

Ku cari teman untuk bersama untuk mengirup udara dan kewenangan memiliki rasa. Dari mata kini tak lagi ada hina, dari raga kini tak ada lagi beda. Senang ku memiliki anak, anaknya dari senyuman biang lala. Sehingga sama ku merasakan, sebagai anak SMA.

Kujalani setiap hari bersama tawa, tawa yang tak kan pernah ku lepas hilang. Aku pergi sekolah setiap senin sampai sabtu seperti biasa. Aku pergi ke rumah teman sepulang sekolah, kadang kami meminjam film dari rentalan dan menontonnya bersama, kadang hanya jalan-jalan di jalan raya. Aku mencoba menjalani kehidupanku sebagaimana anak pada usiaku walau ku tahu itu hanya pura-pura, tapi selagi aku bisa aku tidak akan berhenti mencoba.

Hari minggu, kalau tidak ada rencana dengan teman-teman aku biasanya kembali pada garis hidupku dan menikmati detik-detik dalam satu hari itu. Kadang aku menyapa kalbu kadang aku menghidupkan jiwa dan kadang aku bertemu mata yang bercerita. Inilah hidupku, aku hanya punya satu hari dalam seminggu; untuk merasakan nafas yang ku hirup, untuk tahu berjalan menapaki bumi, untuk memeluk hangat cahaya pagi dan malam yang menghidupkan nafsu bintang-bintang dan angin disela-sela daun-daun pepohonan.

…….

Hampir dekat ulang tahun ke 17-ku. Aku mulai didatangi kenangan masa lalu, kenangan setahun lalu. Kali ini aku tak bisa mengacuhkannya tak bisa kulupakan semakin ku berusaha semakin aku teringat. Aku bertanya-tanya dalam hati,

“apa ia akan datang lagi?”

“apa ia akan mengetuk pintu lagi?”

“apa ia akan memberi senyum lagi?”

“apa ia akan menepukku lagi?”

Aku semakin penasaran dan tak sabar menunggu 17 tahunku datang.

Tiba 17 tahunku, aku tidak menunggunya dimalam pertama karena tahun lalu ia datang di malam ke dua. Dan memang benar dia tidak datang dimalam pertama. Tetapi, saat fajar hampir habis saat ku selesai sembahyang shubuh, langkahku terhenti, aku terkejut melihatnya, tersenyum. Aku dan dia masuk ke kamarku dan lagi-lagi sedikit bicara. Tapi kini entah kenapa aku merasa senang dan tak pedulikan kebingungan. Kali ini aku tak lupa kata-katanya dan aku memutuskan untuk pergi ketika dia mengajak.

Saat fajar meredup dan pagi matahari bersinar aku bergegas ke sekolah. Aku datang pagi sekali, menunggu satu persatu teman-temanku. Aku tidak sabar bertemu mereka. Sehari itu aku berusaha berpura-pura tidak terjadi apa-apa dan bertingkah seperti biasa. Sebelum pulang sekolah aku meminta teman-teman yang dekat denganku tidak dulu pulang karena aku ingin berpamitan. Dan ku meninggalkan mereka dengan sedikit kisahku yang mungkin akan menjadi kenangan tersendiri dalam lembaran kertas yang ku buat khusus bagi mereka. Dan didalamnya ada sedikit ungkapan isi hatiku untuk mereka.

Walaupun berat ku harus meninggal dari kehidupanku yang sekarang tapi aku tak kan menyesal karena ku dapat imbalan yang setimpal. Aku mendapatkan tempatku atas kewenangan kemanusiaan dan ku dapat hak tak sendirian. Aku bahagia tak perlu lagi hidup berpura-pura, sehingga sama yang ku dapat sebagai manusia. Kini aku punya sesuatu yang bisa aku sebut keluarga.

Style, Tone, & Mood of Landlady

1. STYLE OF LANDLADY

Informal style is applied in the short story Landlady. The style can be recognized by these components below:

• Personal word choice or vocabulary:

The short story Landlady uses low level vocabulary many dialogues. Example: ..he got to Bath.., But the air was deadly cold…, and “Well, you see…”.

• Types of sentences:

Types of sentences used in Landlady mostly are simple and compound sentences. Example: Billy was seventeen years old. He was wearing a new navy blue overcoat, a new brown trilby hat, and a new brown suit, and he was feeling fine.

• Point of view:

The short story Landlady uses third person limited point of view. This use is to hide the intention of the landlady character which is to kill Billy Weaver character. For comparison, if the author uses the first person point of view so that the intention will reveal since the beginning of the story.

• Organization of the text:

Narrative style is used in the short story Landlady. 

2. TONE OF LANDLADY 

Some tones that are in the short story Landlady are as the following:

• “…nine o'clock in the evening and the moon was coming up out of a clear starry sky. But the air was deadly cold and the wind was like a flat blade of ice on his cheeks.” shows a sinister tone.

• “even in the darkness, he could see that the paint was peeling from the woodwork on their doors and windows, and that the handsome white facades were cracked and blotchy from neglect.” shows a scary tone.

• “He had never stayed in any boarding houses, and, to be perfectly honest, he was a tiny bit frightened of them.” shows a fear tone.

• “BED AND BREAKFAST, it said. BED AND BREAKFAST, BED AND BREAKFAST, BED AND BREAKFAST. Each word was like a large black eye staring at him through the glass, holding him compelling him.” shows a queer or weird tone.

• “she gave him a warm welcoming smile.” shows a gracious tone.

• “She seemed terribly nice. She looked exactly like the mother of one's best school‑friend welcoming one into the house to stay for the Christmas holidays.” shows a gracious tone.

Analysis of Landlady tone
As an analysis for the tone in the landlady, it will be explained one of the tones above; darkness. Darkness above in the short story Landlady gives a scary tone. It is for darkness above gives the meaning of a dark evening where the character Billy Weaver walking around alone at a place he have never been before. Also looking at his background he is still a 17 years old boy. Therefore this word darkness chosen to create a situation of a scary tone is very much appropriate and perfect to get the feeling of the story.

3. MOOD OF LANDLADY

There are two moods created in the short story Landlady; suspicious and surprising.
Here are some parts of the story that lead us to feel suspicious:

• "I was wondering about a room."
• "It's all ready for you, my dear," she said. 
• "I should've thought you'd be simply swamped with applicants," he said politely. 
• "Oh, I am, my dear, I am, of course I am. But the trouble is that I'm inclined to be just a teeny weeny bit choosy and particular; if you see what I mean". 
• "But I'm always ready. Every­thing is always ready day and night in this house just on the off‑chance that an acceptable young gentleman will come along. And it is such a pleasure, my dear, such a very great pleasure when now and again I open the door and I see someone standing there who is just exactly right." She was half‑way up the stairs, and she paused with one hand on the stair‑rail, turning her head and smiling down at him with pale lips. "Like you," she added, and her blue eyes travelled slowly all the way down the length of Billy's body, to his feet, and then up again. 
• "Well, you see ‑ both of these names, Mulholland and Temple, I not only seem to remember each one of them separately, so to speak, but somehow or other, in some peculiar way, they both appear to be sort of connected together as well. As though they were both famous for the same sort of thing, if you see what I mean ‑ like . . . well . . . like Dempsey and Tunney, for example, or Churchill and Roos­evelt." "How amusing," she said. 
• Now and again, he caught a whiff of a peculiar smell that seemed to emanate directly from her person. It was not in the least unplea­sant, and it reminded him ‑ well, he wasn't quite sure what it reminded him of. Pickled walnuts? New leather? Or was it the corridors of a hospital?

Here are some parts of the story that lead us to feel surprising:

• “But my dear boy, he never left. He's still here. Mr Temple is also here. They're on the third floor, both of them together.”
• “Excuse my asking, but haven't there been any other guests here except them in the last two or three years?”
• “No, my dear,” she said. “Only you.”

Analysis of Landlady Mood
The mood of suspicious: 

• "I should've thought you'd be simply swamped with applicants," he said politely.
• "Oh, I am, my dear, I am, of course I am. But the trouble is that I'm inclined to be just a teeny weeny bit choosy and particular; if you see what I mean".
• "someone … who is just exactly right”, "Like you,"

Based on the story the inn owned by the landlady offers a very cheap price with quite a nice place to stay in. However, from the conversation above we can see that there is no guest in the inn. The landlady then explains that she is just a teeny weeny bit choosy and particular; she chooses someone who is just exactly right like Billy Weaver. It should be confusing why should be an inn choosy about its guests and why should be the guests like Billy weaver? In addition, the landlady had never been met Billy Weaver so how come she could say that the guests for her inn should be like him?
Therefore, this situation leads the reader to feel suspicious that there is something wrong and definitely there is something going on.

The mood of surprising:

• “But my dear boy, he never left. He's still here. Mr Temple is also here. They're on the third floor, both of them together.”

There is a part in the story when Billy Weaver assumes that Mr. Mulholland and Mr. Temple had left but then the landlady said that they never left. They are still in the inn on the third floor. This part is very surprising to the character Billy Weaver as well as to the readers. There is no one who would stay in an inn for years so it leads us to an assumption of that they are already dead.